Last night I had a somewhat difficult conversation with the hubby. He initially didn’t want to talk about it then as he said I was too emotional for a rational conversation. He promised we’d talk when I’ve calmed down and am in a more reasonable state of mind. I was adamant though, and argued that since I tend to overthink, once sufficient time has passed and I’ve calmed down, by then I’d have drowned in my own thoughts and would be even less rational than at (then) present time. He couldn’t argue with that. So in the end, we talked about my issues, as well as some other related things.

I wanted to have that conversation, but at the same time I was scared, you know? Like, it could totally go off in the wrong direction and end up driving us apart. Difficult conversations tend to do that after all. But I decided to have a little more faith in us, that we could talk and overcome our issues. Thankfully, my gamble paid off. He listened to what I had to say, and I got confirmation of some things I knew that were, but were never spoken of.  We were able to air out the unsaid things between us, and I would like to think that it brought us closer.

Breath of fresh air

Earlier today, we got out of the house just for the sake of getting out of the house. I needed a break badly and I’m so thankful he provided. We went downtown and took a nice, chilly stroll along the coastal walkway. It was a cloudy day, and there were still a little bit of the wildfire smoke in the air. We wore masks, but I forgot to take a jacket or hoodie. I had to snuggle into him at times for warmth. He pointed out stuff every now and then, just really showing me around the tiny downtown of our sleepy little town. I bought a chocolate at the local chocolatier/bakery. We had a rather nice time.

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We passed by this mural on our stroll. I’m not one for destiny, but coincidentally, its message felt so appropriate to counter the helplessness I’ve been feeling as of late. And just as we pulled out of the parking lot to go back home, it started to rain hard; we barely made it back to the safety of the car. I’d like to think that this is a sign that we’ll pull through this.


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