I just finished changing Francine’s diaper. She pooped about a coupla hours ago, but some minutes before I smelled something funky and decided to check out her diaper. And lo and behold, may pahabol pa nga ang bata. 😛
Weird, but I actually like changing her diaper. And for someone as maarte as I am about getting her hands dirty, I actually find it quite surprising. But, I don’t know, I feel all grown up when I do that. Like, I’m not a kid anymore, you know? I’ve always considered myself a kid at heart (and in actions too, sometimes) and now, having a kid of my own is kinda shifting my perspective a bit. Like, I’m now responsible not just for myself, but for this other, frail being as well.
It makes me happy when she falls asleep in my arms. There’s a sense of achievement there, shallow as that may sound. Probably because the first few days it was always either Mama or Tita who rocks her to sleep since I was still too weak to even carry her. And I guess I was kinda jealous of that, of them having the privilege of holding her close when I so wanted to but cannot. And that they know just what to do with her while I have not the slightest idea how to be a mother to my own daughter in the first place.
Thankfully, I am learning bit by bit. I guess it does include relying on instinct too sometimes, not just the how-to’s and rote procedures. And a certain enjoyment, of course. Motherhood is my new journey, and the most important ever at that, so I am determined to do the best I could. God help me be the best Mommy I could be to Francine. 🙂
I Super LIKE the “Motherhood is my new journey”! and I also LOVE reading all your new post..hehe ^_^
Glad to know you take the time and enjoy reading my random ramblings here. Thanks much Jenny! 🙂
I’m so glad you’re enjoying motherhood sis. It took me a while to really enjoy it. At first, I was just really scared and worried that I’m not doing all the right things. And though you feel slightly jealous with your mom and relative, you’re still lucky to have them near you when you’re still learning and all. I wish I had that too. It was just me, my husband and the yaya during those first few months kaya I was so stressed.
Yeah, inasmuch as I got jealous the first few days I really am thankful they’re there to help both of us out. 🙂 I have totally no idea how to even hold my baby properly or how to make her burp, I just watched them and tried to replicate what they were doing, all the while praying I don’t drop the baby out of sheer clumsiness.
When I finished reading, I told myself, I have to share this (your blog) to my best friend. She’s going through a lot with her pregnancy. This might help her realize that there would be more wonderful things after all. Thanks! 🙂
Awww.. I’m glad you find my blog *helpful* somewhat. Hope your friend does so too. Having a baby is a wonderful thing, more than worth all the trouble of pregnancy and all. 🙂
I am sure you will be more mature, sexier (inget ako) than before. And that Rancy *you know me I like giving nicknames your kid is no exception* would be the most photographed kid in your household