Sleepless Ruminations (A Letter to my Daughter)

My dear Francine,

As I look at you now, sleeping while feeding from your milk bottle, I know that you won’t always be that little girl. You grow up so fast and pretty soon, my little girl would be a young lady. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?

I know I’m not a perfect Mommy, but please know that I am trying so hard. I am doing my best. It’s not easy transitioning from a nearly-helpless woman-child to being a full-time mother. I had to change in ways I thought I never could. From being a selfish brat, I now place someone else in higher priority than my own. From there, I had to learn practically everything from scratch.

I see my willfulness in you, and I must remember that it is the beginning of your budding independence and so I must not tamp it down like some useless gnat as I am wont to do. I have to remind myself that my role here is to guide you and not to dictate how you live your life. I’ll protect you from getting needlessly hurt, but I won’t hold you back from some life lessons that can only be learned with a bit of pain. In those cases, I’ll be there to comfort you anyway and help you see that life goes on, and that it’s true that what doesn’t kill you does indeed make you stronger. Because yes, I want you to become a strong person, stronger than I have ever been and better in all the ways that count.

I only want the best for you and I will provide the best I could, but I also want you to learn the value of hard work. I want you to be able to stand on your own two feet, so that you may be able to do the things you want to do. Of course, I will always worry about you, but don’t let that hold you back in your undertakings. You are flesh of my flesh and blood of my blood, but I understand that you are your own person as well.

One thing you can count on: I will always, ALWAYS love you. Through thick and thin, tears and laughters, triumphs and failures, and everything else in between. Let that be your bedrock, to keep you steady when you feel unsure of everything else.

May the good Lord shape you to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.

I love you so much Francine Antoinette.

Always,
Mommy

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